Last Resort

You are blessed

surrounded with plenty friends, laughter

being popular

melody and rhythm are your companions

yet you always try to escape from reality

find her in your amusement

your eyes lit up in joy

it is time to realize

I can handle dark sides

madness, letdowns

stories, fears, anxieties

but I’m not Last Resort

not a root when rattan is unavailable,

not a spare when nobody there

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I never fit in

I was six

Still in the first grade

When school classmates suddenly turned into nightmare

I ran into the front yard

Sat under the flagpole

Crying inside

I was eleven

Moving into a new city, new school with new classmates

Strangers

Teachers

They joked about the city I previously lived in

They made fun of my name

They didn’t believe I passed with the highest score

Burn

I was in college

I started make friends..real friends

People whom I admire and respect

They were superb

Intellects, hard-workers and religious

I was not so the latter

I am working now

a hijabi in steel hard world

trying to know God before I get old

I meet extraordinary people

Survivors, leaders, visioners

Befriend with reports and numbers

Surrounded with wealth

I’m starting to questioning my health

Some run to their families

Or pick booze, pots and parties

Why would you try so hard to fit in

when the world never lets you?

Is it your fault to be A when others are Z?

Is it wrong to love the abandoned?

Is it correct to laugh with the bullies?

They don’t know my life

They have no rights to judge

Be careful of what you see

Sometimes sights deceiving

Be cautious of what you feel

Sometimes hunch is worth your trust

Stop Bullying!

I was a bit shocked when came across this article says that the Stephen King experienced being bullied during his teen age. His response when asked about high school was, ” I hate my high school moments. I don’t believe anyone saying high school is the best times in life. If you like your high school time, there must be something wrong with you”. I realize it is happening around us, and I had too, being a victim. In indonesia, we can draw several example from senior-junior high school “welcoming” tradition (or more renowned as OSPEK); to seems-petty-everyday-thingy like making fun of someone’s appearance or giving bad nicknames. Definitely I’m not going to be the most-liked person in the world by writing this post, but I can’t just ignore this issue.

Bullying is defined by Stop Bullying.gov as “an aggressive, unwanted behavior, mostly occur among school-aged kids or teenagers that involves real or perceived power imbalance” (IMHO, it still happening among us grown-ups though). The behavior is repeated, or has potential to be repeated over times. If you think bullying is only limited to physical abuse, think again! There are three main types of bullying or abuse. First is physical abuse, which is visible to everyone. Examples: slap on face, punching, pushing, or physical punishment. Secondly, verbal abuse, which is also visible. Examples: spreading rumors, yelling, mocking, or public humiliation. Lastly, and in my opinion the most dangerous one, is mental or psychological abuse. It’s dangerous because it’s involving subtle signs so not everyone is aware of it. Examples: threatening or cynical stare, act of alienating, or sending terror message. Make things worse, bullying not only found in everyday life but also in cyberspace thus it’s called cyber-bullying. Examples of cyber-bullying are mean text messages or emails, rumors posted on social media and spreading embarrassing picture or videos.

According to Indonesia’s National Bureau of Statistics, in 2006, number of reported case of child abuse reached 25 million cases. In 2009, about 48% cases occurred in school. A recent survey done by Indonesia’s national newspaper, involving more than 500 respondents, it is found that about 67% teenagers (aged 15-17 y.o) experienced bullying or abuse. 53% admit bullying was done by their classmates; 20% by their seniors and 2.7% by their parents!

What would be the effect to the victims? Researchers from King’s College London said victims of childhood bullying are more likely to suffer from depression, ill-health or even suicidal thoughts even up to the age 50. Considering the long-term effects, we should cut the vicious circle of bullying. People need to be aware and stop seeing it as ‘inevitable part of growing up’. If you witness any form of bullying  around you, STAND UP and be more than bystander. Find out what happened and support the victim. If you are a victim, talk to someone you can trust. Don’t keep silence and don’t believe what those bullies say. The preventive act should start from home and school by act as role model, establish culture of tolerance and respect, make regulation of reward and punishment if necessary, also reinforce positive social interactions and inclusiveness.

Everyone can be victim, but the higher risk is often found among children or teenagers who perceived as ‘different’ from their peers, perceived as weak or unable to defend themselves; has societal anxiety or low self-esteem; less popular or do not get along well with others. Nonetheless, everyone can be a survivor too. Lots of public figure were victim of childhood bullying, yet they are managed to rise and soar. Stephen King, Julia Robert,  Jackie Chan, Michael Phelps, Christian Bale and Justin Timberlake are survivors and now they are agents of change. One last reminder, if you ever been a victim, don’t do act of revenge to anyone. You choose what define you, don’t get carried away by bullies!

 

 

Source:

Kompas.com

Independent.co.uk

StopBullying.gov

Nobullying.com

Pinterest.com (image)

Date A Guy Who…

Date a guy who reads. At first probably you won’t notice that he has the bookworm or bibliophile persona, but it turns out that he does. Even not only towards science fiction, mystery and adventure, but also poetry. Or romance. Buy him a cup of tea (because too much caffeine is not healthy) or a mug of hot choco. Ask him what he thinks about Roald Dahl, Truman Capote, Erich Segal, or JK Rowling. Ask if he ever read novels by Sophie Kinsella, but don’t be surprised if he says he doesn’t. Ask him about non-fiction genre. What specific topic does he interested about? Ask him whether he prefers to be Mr. Phileas Fogg, who’s calm and straightforward but also a gentleman in nature; or be like Mr. Darcy: aloof, slightly arrogant but actually a devoted lover. Don’t forget to let him describes his favorite heroes and authors as well.

Date a guy who travels. Or better yet, crave for adventure. He wants to accompany you in completing your mission in traveling around the world. No need to use air-balloon (but still, it would be romantic). It doesn’t matter whether it is far or nearby, as long as you are with him. To hike Mt.Bromo to see the sunrise and enjoy Jazz Gunung; or to track Magica De Spell’s trace in Mt. Vesuvius. To visit Burj Khalifa followed by short visit to Klondike and Duckburg. To enjoy pale pink sands in Lombok and traditional dance in Bali or to ponder at the serene shore of Maldives. To choose the less traveled path offroads at least once in a lifetime.

Date a guy who loves music and movies. And art. Be it rock, pop, soul, jazz, RnB or ballads, as long as you have at least one (or two!) common favorite musicians, then it would be great. Ask him to swap each other playlist for a day. Take him out to star-gazing at clear night sky, while listening to A Sky Full of Stars. Ask him what does the song ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ reminds him of. Accompany him to watch concert, even though you hardly listen to metal songs. Take him to watch the Broadway and visit MOMA or the Smithsonians. Ask if he has watched St. Elmo’s Fire and whose story he likes the most.

Date a guy who wants to cook with you. And works hand-in-hand doing the chores. So he respects you as partner and won’t treat you like an inferior. Watch the Master Chef or Chef’s Table, try some of the recipes. Buy comics or novels with culinary storyline and practice the recipe. Probably the kitchen would turn into a mess, but cleaning up together is priceless.

Date a guy who befriends with various people, from all nations, across race, age or beliefs. So you have plenty to share and ask. And together you will become rich of experience; this will make you wiser and wealthier.

Better yet, find a guy who writes.

Inspired by Date A Girl Who Reads

Treasure

Give me all, give me all, give me all attention baby
I got to tell you a little something about yourself
You’re wonderful, flawless, ooh you’re a sexy lady
But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else

Oohh..

I know that you don’t know it, but you’re fine, so fine
(fine, so fine)

Ooh..

Oh girl I’m gonna show you when you’re mine, oh mine(mine, oh mine)

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you’re my golden star
I know you could make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

oh ooh

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling
A girl like you should never look so blue
You’re everything I see in my dreams
I wouldn’t say that to you if it wasn’t true

Oohh

I know that you don’t know it, but you’re fine, so fine
(fine, so fine)

Oohh

Oh girl I’m gonna show you when you’re mine, oh mine(mine, oh mine)

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you’re my golden star
I know you could make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you’re my golden star
I know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

 

I heart this song :3

cupcakes, foodie, wrong pronounciations, durian, puns and slapstick

-Why do I, always find friendship in the end of almost every journey I get through?
I don’t know where it started, how it started and how to start writing the story here. All I can do is being grateful to God, to introduced me and let me having this friendship (read: brotherhood).

I always know Asset, my classmate, a vibrant guy from Kazakhstan, who has the ability of making soundtrack and deliver lively story every time he tells one.
I met Darshan for the first time during the Class Reps meeting. He and Aaron from Msc Finance seems always together. He’s the big guy with glasses and charisma of serious-finance guy, turns out he’s got passion in IT industry and addicted to sweets. And says durian taste like onion.

I met Chummar through Rajiv, my fellow Indonesian in Notts. He’s the tall MBA guy, with characteristical accent, then I found out that he’s addicted to gym and fitness-related things. And habitually correcting my pronounciation.

I don’t remember specifically how, but I remembered first time we went out together (the four of us) was for the new Keanu Reeves movie, the Man of Taichi (with unexpected appearance of Iko Uwais as cameo). Then we continued with an adventurous hunting for Kazakhstan restaurant which located somewhere around LRT Bukit Jalil. We almost got lost, but at the end we were able to enjoy our food peacefully (except for the fact that most of the food was beef-based so Darshan was not really eating).

Second time outing was for Wolverine movie, which I was not so interested in but end up enjoy the movie a lot (ah, blimey). That time we had additional member, Laheji from PhD Electronics Engineering and he just the same age as me (seriously, what’s in India rice? They are genius).

Today was a bit extra ordinary. We were selling cupcakes for charity! Ah, errata, we made our lecturers bought the cupcakes. What a day. I had so much fun taking pictures and observe the two big guys, selling cupcakes while holding the heart-shaped boxes around. So manly. You can see the picture of the legendary cupcake on my tumblr.

Ahh, talking about the sweet guys remind me of the three musketeers, microboys and the MIC team. I miss them.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory [Dr.Seuss]

So cherish the moment! Live! Carpe diem!

Improving Self- Discipline

Just found this interesting article, I found really helpful. Enjoy!

***

 

We all could use a little more self discipline, though some could use more than others. We’ve seen people that can make themselves stop doing things they no longer want to do, or start doing things that they’ve learned will help them. But how do they do it? How do they not only start on something new, but stick to it? Below are ten simple tips that can help anyone that is looking to improve their self discipline.

1 – Start small. If you have a little trouble with self discipline and want to work on it, the best thing you can do is to start small, which generally means picking something you think you can succeed at. For example, say you find yourself every New Year’s Eve promising yourself to go to the gym every week. Then, March comes along and you find you’ve not gone for two months. Instead of yelling at yourself for being stupid and lazy why not try modifying your pledge to something you feel you could do. For example, you might promise yourself instead that you’ll park farther from the store when you go, to make yourself walk a little more. This is something manageable. Let the gym go hang, at least for now.

2 – One thing at a time. Another thing you can do is to try picking just one thing. Quite often we find ourselves overwhelmed with life and all the things we think we are supposed to be doing, and in response promise ourselves that we’ll straighten everything out right away and then find ourselves failing again at all of them. One way out of this is to pick just one thing to work on. Say it’s paying bills on time. Forget killing yourself trying to get to places on time or whatever else it is that you worry about. Set up a date and time to pay those bills and don’t let any of the other stuff get in the way. Getting those bills paid on time a few months in a row can make you feel more sure of yourself and able to tackle other things.

3 – Don’t let other’s sway you. One thing to be wary of when attempting to rein in your history of impulsive or less than well thought out behavior patterns is to look at who you keep company with. Quite often people allow others to sabotage their efforts. This is quite obviously not conducive to modifying our self disciplinary issues. To get better at self discipline, you need to either find a way to not listen to these people, or to get them out of your life.

4 – Watch out for weak moments. One of the trickiest parts of self discipline is handling weak moments. These are the killers. We feel fat, or insipid. We feel lost or empty. We find we miss the thing we’ve chosen to give up, or hate the thing we’ve started to do. We hate everything. This is when we give up. It’s easy to be strong and carry on when we’re at the top of our game. It’s these low points where we have to find a way though. The best thing you can do when you feel yourself hitting a weak spot is to talk to someone who is not only on your side but can help to remind you of the good that will come out of your sticking to whatever it was you decided on. It’s sort of like a sponsor for AA. Call them when you feel weak or are beginning to wonder if what you’ve chosen to do is so important after all. Call them when you see yourself making reasons for doing something else. Just call them. If you don’t have someone you can call or talk to, get yourself up and out of the situation. If you’ve promised yourself you’d quite biting your nails, then get yourself up and outside. Water the lawn or dig a hole. Do some knitting. Just do something, especially if it means using your hands, because it’s really hard to nibble your nails when your fingers are busy.

5 – Fitting it into your lifestyle. To improve your self discipline, you need to make whatever it is you’ve decided to do fit into your lifestyle. It’s generally not enough to just stomp your foot and say this is how things are going to be from now on. To make things work, you have to change the circumstances of the situation. For example, if you’ve decided that from now on, when you tell your children no, you will not take it back later and let them do whatever that thing was. In addition to making that promise to yourself, you have to make some changes to the situation itself. In this example, it might be something as simple as asking the child for a written request. Doing so causes the child to have to think about their request and it allows you to see more clearly what is being asked and whether it is something that should be allowed or not.

6 – Don’t talk about it. Quite often when we make up our minds to do something, one of the first things we do is go around telling everyone we know what we are going to do. Or not do, if that’s the case. Try not to do this. It severs no useful purpose and in fact can undermine your resolve. We might think that by telling everyone we are actually asking for help, or at least support, when in fact what we are really doing is looking for approval, that may or may not come. If it doesn’t we tend to start wondering if our decision was right in the first place, which can make your self discipline begin to crumble.

7 – Milestones. One of the things you can do along the way is to mark milestones. It might be days or weeks, or months or even years. Or it might be something less easy to write down, such as noting how you feel a change in the way you view certain things. A diary is a good way to keep track of things like this, especially if the thing you’re trying to make yourself do or stop doing is rather subtle, like being less critical of your spouse. You might only notice the difference by reading your own words for past days. Keeping a diary also helps you to keep in mind the thing you’re working on, which is critical to success.

8 – Charting success. In addition to marking milestones, you might also consider giving yourself a means of measuring your success or failures. Again, many things in life don’t necessarily have a grading scale so it’s important to watch your milestones and then to gauge whether you’ve been succeeding at your goals. If you’re not doing as well as you’d like, consider things you might do to make it better. If things are going well, keep on as you’ve been, you’re doing great.

9 – Don’t let slips stop you. One of the biggest threats to self discipline is slipping and then falling headlong into defeat. This is common with dieting. We are doing great, then one day, in a weak moment we eat a whole bag of miniature brownies. And then, rather than scold ourselves gently and get back on the horse, we tell ourselves we’re hopeless and figure we’ve lost the battle. But we haven’t. We only lose the battle when we refuse to fight. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail, if you keep fighting, you’ll always be in the game.

10 – Rewarding yourself. As with most things in life, if you reward yourself well, you’ll find your sub-conscience begin to act as an ally rather than as a force trying to subvert your efforts. Pick something you really like and if possible something you’ll be able to enjoy for more than a moment. Things like a hot bubble bath or a chocolate desert are nice, but they are gone the moment we finish. Other things, like a nice purse or golf club serve as reminders every time we see them.

These ten tips to help improve your self discipline can be used by anyone who is trying to think of ways to help their own self discipline. If you are such a person, I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

Published by S.E Jones

Yahoo Network Contributor